Stubborn & rebellious – Ki Tetzei
If parents have a stubborn and rebellious son who will not listen to them, they can bring him to the elders at the gate and he may be punished by death by stoning (Deut. 21:18-21).
Yet the Torah is not anti-children: this law in fact affirms children’s rights. It limits parents’ supreme power over their child by ensuring that it will be the courts that deal with the case, and parents will not be able to do whatever they like to their child.
The Mishnah (Sanhedrin, chapter 8) sets out detailed regulations on the subject to such an extent that it restricts parents’ rights even further and makes the conviction of a child practically impossible. Hence the Gemara remarks that the conviction of a stubborn and rebellious child never occurred and never will.
This does not mean a highly uncooperative child can get away with anything he or she fancies. The halachah carefully specifies the mutual responsibilities of parents and children and provides guidance in bringing up and dealing with children.
But what the law of the stubborn and rebellious son tells us is that parenting involves the heavenly Father as well as an earthly mother and father. Earthly parents are responsible to God. Though they are authority figures in a child’s life, they themselves are subject to a higher authority.
And what applies to parents applies to all adults. They may not take the law into their own hands in dealing even with a naughty child. All the more must they not abuse a child in other ways and destroy childish innocence, purity and trust, perhaps for ever.
